Written by Writer’s Corps member Demetria Osei-Tutu
Is there such a thing as being too old for a first kiss?
Users of a forum called GirlsAskGuys think so.
In response to a teens inquiry about being too old to have a first kissed, one user said:
In other words, having a first kiss definitely has a cut off time and once you’ve left the awkward teen years, your lack of kissing experience shifts from cute to just plain weird. This belief is reinforced in Hollywood films like coming of age classic, Sixteen Candles, and modern rom-coms like The Kissing Booth and Sierra Burgess is a Loser, which all perpetuates the unhealthy belief that your high school experience is not quite complete without the kiss that seals the deal.
Even in the film Never Been Kissed, the protagonist has her first real kiss at 25 while pretending to be a teen. And the cause of her lack of kissing experience? You guessed it, it stems from her being considered a loser during her actual high school years.
In films and television shows, first kisses are also sold as crucial markers of one’s transition from adolescence to young adulthood. This is fine for fictional characters but can make young people place unnecessary pressure on themselves to have a first kiss so they aren’t perceived as immature IRL.
Here’s the thing: there is no invisible kissing clock counting down the seconds where you lose kissing potential, I promise. And in my opinion, society needs to eliminate this self-imposed deadline on first kisses. Why? Because a kiss by a certain age does not measure your worth in the romance department or equate to how cool you are. And it certainly is not a sign of maturity.
Being a young adult is so much more than having a kiss or becoming intimate with someone.
Becoming an adult is a process, and about learning more about yourself and others. Becoming an adult is about becoming more responsible for yourself and your actions and “adulting.” In my opinion, more accurate markers of your transition from doe-eyed teen to adulthood might include graduating from high school, getting your first job and saving for your first apartment. Why? Because becoming an adult is a journey filled with many firsts and having a first-kiss is only part of the story.
Though the average age for young people to experience a first kiss is fifteen, there is absolutely no reason to rush into it because “everyone else is doing it” or you want to feel “normal.” After all, what good is a kiss if it comes with a side of regret? You deserve to have a first kiss with someone you care about and when you feel ready, no matter how old you are.
So, enjoy all of your firsts and take your time because life is not a competition. And making decisions that are best for you instead of being in a race to cross off as many firsts as possible is what makes you more…adult.